In this blog post, I want to share a heartwarming experience that happened to me two weeks ago in the midst of stress and chaos. It reminded me why we should see our teenagers as teachers sometimes and how co-creating with them can lead to beautiful moments of growth, love, connection and understanding.
It all happened during a car ride with my teenage son, who was recovering from a nasty flu. It’s winter in the southern hemisphere, so it’s coughing and sniffling season.
In the chaos of running out of the house on one of the freezing and rainy mornings, I asked him to grab the box of tissue from the house on his way out.
Midway through our journey, he innocently asked about the tissue as he needed to blow his nose, and I instantly snapped, frustrated that he hadn’t remembered. I let out my irritation, telling him that I couldn’t possibly remember everything for him. I went on a rant on how he needed to step up in the morning, and so on…(yep, I experience crazy mornings also, but thankfully not often)
But you know what? Instead of reacting defensively or engaging in an argument, my amazing son responded with calmness and wisdom beyond his years. He said, “It’s okay, mum. No need to get angry. We are both stressed at the moment. I am not feeling well, I woke up with a headache, so let’s not be angry at each other. I will sort it out. Calm down.” Wow, his words hit me like a ton of bricks, but in the best possible way.
His response made me take a step back and reflect. Here I was, feeling stressed and overwhelmed, and so was he. And at that moment, he didn’t react with defiance or respond to my frustration with more frustration. He responded with understanding and compassion.
As parents, we often feel the weight of responsibility, thinking we must have all the answers and remember everything for our children. But here’s the truth: we’re human, and we’re bound to forget things, just like our teenagers. In this fast-paced world, it’s easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle, but it’s crucial to remind ourselves that our teenagers are navigating their own challenges too.
At that moment, I realised that co-creating with my teenager is more than just involving him in decision-making processes; it’s about being open to the lessons he has to teach me. My son’s words and reactions were the cues I needed to remind me to slow down, be more patient, and listen with an open heart. These things can be easily forgotten when we’re juggling too many balls and petrified of dropping one.
Co-creating with our teenagers doesn’t mean we relinquish our parental role or authority. It’s about creating a safe space for open communication where they feel valued and heard. It’s about finding a balance where we guide them while also being receptive to their thoughts and feelings. Acknowledging that they possess an incredible ability to see beyond the surface, empathise with our struggles, and offer us a fresh perspective.
When co-creation happens, we foster stronger bonds and deepen our understanding of each other. Parenting becomes a journey of mutual respect, trust, collaboration, compassion, and love.
Our teenagers have a wealth of knowledge and experiences that can benefit us as parents. They’re growing up in a world that’s rapidly changing, and they’re adapting to it better than we might realise. They effortlessly embrace technology, social dynamics, and so much more that might be foreign to us. Parenting is a journey of continuous learning, and our children can be our greatest teachers if we’re willing to learn from them.
Next time you find yourself in a situation like mine, take a deep breath and try to see it as an opportunity for growth. Instead of reacting out of frustration or dismissing their suggestions, listen to what your teenager has to say. Be open to the lessons they offer and be willing to adjust your perspective.
Celebrate the amazing teachers our teenagers can be while navigating the wonders and challenges of parenthood. Let’s open our hearts and minds to the wisdom and teachings they have to offer.
BTW he did sort it out. On our stop at the drive-thru cafe, he asked for extra serviettes🤧
